A house turns into a home with the family staying in it. Home is where all the memories and moments are made. Have you faced a situation where your happy home is suddenly torn down? Or you or your spouse have decided to separate, and it is affecting your family?
As stated by the American Psychological Association (APA): “90% of the people get married in western culture before they turn 50. However, half of these marriages end in divorce.”
A survey was conducted by Porch, where they asked 501 people in the United States, aged between 22 and 77 who got to keep the marital home about how they dealt with their divorce, and how they adapted to a new chapter in their life.
Please read our blog, and learn how divorced individuals deal with their lives during divorce and lead to happy lives afterwards.
Sell or Stay in the marital home
If Porch’s survey is followed, the decision to sell or stay in the marital home is typically influenced by the individual’s responsibility. It is seen that approximately 50 percent of the people thought the main fault was of their ex-spouse, which led to divorce, and he/she has ended up staying in the family home.
However, it is always better to sell the home if the individual blames themself for the divorce. All the couples seeking a divorce and want the divorce to be civil can profit from their house’s sale. According to the survey, “33% of the divorced partners made a profit by going formal with divorce. At the same time, 24% claimed that their divorce was not that cordial.”
Selecting New Home
After the divorce and moving out of the family home, many individuals downsized to find a new place. Out of a hundred divorce cases, 53 percent of the individuals chose a smaller place for living, 29 percent chose a same-sized house as before, and 18 percent moved to a larger area.
While 66% of people who downsized after divorce claimed that the main reason for the breakup or divorce is the unfaithful nature of their partner, apart from this, 57% of people said their partners lacked individuality, 56% claimed they experience a lack of intimacy, and 55% said they aren’t in love with their partners. All these are some critical reasons for filing the divorce.
Staying or Moving out of town
After divorce, everyone has a fresh start; most people prefer to stay in the same town instead of moving out. Out of an average of 100 divorced partners, 27 percent of the individuals chose to remain in the same city as they had established roots in town. However, 23 percent who work in the same town or nearby want to stay in the same city, 19 percent want to stay near their family, and 18 percent want to stay near their kids.
Out of 20 percent of individuals who moved out of town post-divorce, 30 percent of them actually wanted to stay in the same city near their kids or family.
As said by the Mayo Clinic, when divorced or going through oa divorce, it’s better to have social support from friends and family. It will help the individual have a healthy mental status during this emotional and high stressed time.
When kids are there, the couples usually take some time or postpone their divorce process. 64% of the divorced partners said that they stayed together for much longer than they wanted because of the kids.
Approximately 42 percent of the individuals claimed that they stayed in the marriage for an extra 1 to 3 years for the kids. 12 percent said they remained in the marriage for 10 long years for kids’ sake before considering a divorce. Most of the time, couples choose to stay together for the welfare of their kids.
But, it can be difficult for a child to stay in such a difficult situation. According to APA, when parents are in a conflicting and toxic marriage, they choose to stay in it instead of splitting for the sake of kids’. Then the children experience difficulty in adjusting to such a toxic environment.
What parents can change for kids in a Divorce
Kids adjust well within the first two years of their parent’s divorce. According to a survey, 75 percent of the divorced parents said they’re handling the whole divorce well. 37 percent of the parents said that it was good to keep their kids away from conflicts. 33 percent said they talked with their kids about their feelings during the divorce process.
Whereas 25 percent of parents claimed that their children didn’t handle divorce well, 44 percent thought it is better to keep the conflict away from their children. 42 percent of individuals felt that it would have been better to talk about divorce with their kids more often.
Earlier, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry said that for a child it is easy to be confused when they first hear about their parents getting divorced; children tend to take all the blame on themselves until either of the parents explain to them what is happening. Children easily misinterpret the whole divorce.
During this time, being straightforward to them is the best thing a parent can do. Often having discussions with them about your feelings will slowly help them in transition and adapt to such situations.
36% of the parents said apart from the partner’s conflicts and split, their kids handled the divorce well. On the contrary, 14% said that their kids did not take it that well.
An article published based on a survey done by the National Center for Biotechnology Information that was meant to identify the divorce’s actual cause in the United States mentioned that “75% of the people claimed that lack of commitment is the major reason for the split.”
If the article is followed closely, then commitment and communication between the partners overlap and usually affect the marriage. Similarly, the Porch’s survey showed that the lack of commitment and communication is the main reason for divorce. Over 61% of males and 53% of females refer to it as a significant reason for the split.
The top two reasons for lack of communication are continually arguing and being cheated on. However, the lack of individuality is said to be the least quoted reason for divorce.
For men, the lack of intimacy and money is the more significant reason for separation. For women, a cheating spouse and differing values are the more notable reasons for the break.
Whose fault it is
What do different generations have to say about divorce?
When talking with the participants of different generation in the survey below is the responses that were received:
- Generation X and Baby boomers blamed the partner for the divorce, and only 8% of Generation X shouldered any blame.
- Millennials were unbiased when it came to blaming themselves for the divorce. While according to the World Economic Forum, millennials have approximately less than 50% chances of getting divorced.
- If gender is considered, men are likely to share the blame; on the contrary, women are more likely to blame their spouse for separation.
Apart from this, the millennials and some Generation Xers want to wait some time to complete their education, settle in careers, and then think of marriage. However, baby boomers got married at a younger age.. Co-living before the wedding has increased a lot and caused a decrease in divorce rates.
We will help you in your transition.
Divorce can be difficult, but life goes on, and transitions are always good for positive living. Despite the hardships you face, having a comforting place is the best gift you can give to yourself.
At Goldsberry Law firm, we are there to help you in this challenging period. We are there to listen to you and your problems and make this stressful process easy for you. You can visit our website, fill our contact form, or directly call us for a free consultation.
Our attorneys are here to listen to you, hear your problems and stand with you through the whole divorce process. Attorneys at Goldsberry law firm ensure that you get all the benefits you deserve and help you transition.